Obviously, that’s not my real name.  I’ve decided to omit my real name and the real names of anyone mentioned in my blog for privacy reasons.  Also, because I’m suicidal, I don’t want anyone I know to stumble across this and attempt to intervene.

The postings contained on this site are a way for me to speak about how I really feel.  Things I can’t say to anyone I know.  Things I can’t say aloud.  They are 100% my own thoughts and stories.  Mostly, it is a way to catalog the final days of my life.  I want those who claim to care about me to understand, after I’m gone, why I needed to take my own life.

Why is my blog public?
I’ve never been so deluded to believe that no one understands how I feel.  But the same can’t be said for everyone else out there.  My blog is public to remind others that they are not alone.  That the severity of bi-polar depression is very real and can be hidden.  There are many signs that people overlook.  Do not misunderstand, I have no desire to be helped anymore.  However, maybe someone else out there does want help.  Maybe my silly words can help them.

Thanks for stopping by.
I hope that you, dear reader, will never feel as alone as I do.