Me and Doug: A History

It’s funny.

When I first met Doug in person, it was the July 4th holiday last year.  Doug and I have been friends online for at least 2 years prior to meeting.  When I first met him online, I was taken right away with how outgoing and funny he was.  I definitely wanted to know him better.  Eventually we upgraded to voice chat while gaming together.  It wasn’t long after we met online… maybe a couple weeks?  The first time we had voice chatted together, I discovered we had more in common than I could have imagined.  Turns out, our religious views are identical.  Our hobbies are nearly the same.  We like the same kind of music.  We both love good, home cooked food.  We both love to cook.  We both want to give up city life and go live in the mountains (lol).  There were a couple things about him though that made me think that I shouldn’t pursue anything.  His intense, conservative views and the fact that he can be VERY nasty to people who cross him.

All in all, he reminded me a lot of 2 people I’d dated and loved very much.  And he seemed to pull some of the most dominate features from each of those 2 people.  He’s over-confident, narcissistic, pompous, loud… yet, nice, funny, nervous (at times), vulnerable.  But Doug made it clear right off the bat that he was not interested in online romance.  He never flirted or made sexual or flirtatious comments.  Women who played the game with us, (including me) we were just another one of the guys.  And that’s how our friendship came to be.  Doug had met Bella before.  Bella I had mentioned in a much earlier post about my former relationship with Alen.  To make a long story short, Bella and Doug despise each other.  When I ended my friendship with Bella in April of last year, Doug and I grew closer as friends.  And if you’ve been following my blog since July of last year, then you know the story as it is today.

I have a way of reading people.  I tend to see what they are before they realize I’ve seen it.  I saw it in Alen.  I saw it in Bella.  I saw it in Layla.  I’ve seen it in many others I’ve met in my life.  I just have a tendency to dive in further even though I get that feeling like this person is bad for me.  I guess part of me wants to find that I’m wrong.  But that rarely ever seems to be the case.  I end up hurt and disappointed.  I have never had that feeling with Doug.  He’s never given me a feeling of unease.  He’s just always been there, wanting to talk to me, game with me.  After we met in person, he wanted me there.  He wanted to go do things with me.  He’s actually enjoyed my presence and not the things he can take from me.  In fact, when we finally talked about being together as a couple, he told me that no one has ever been as important to him as I am, not including family.  No one has ever said those words to me before.  Not even my ex-husband. As someone with self-esteem issues, I’m sure you can see why that hit me so hard.

When people ask Doug how long we’ve been together, He tells them “approximately 6 months.”  Exactly 6 months ago, I wrote about how Doug wanted me to move to California.  How it felt like our friendship had become a relationship minus intimacy.  Funny, I guess he saw it too.  I just didn’t realize he had seen it.  Doug certainly knows how to put on a blank face.

Last night, Doug talked about my moving to California again.  When?  We don’t know.  They were just ideas we were talking about.  However, any time we talk about the future, I’m always right there with him.  I can honestly say no one has ever included me in their future plans so soon after we started dating.  I have had a lot of good times with people I’ve dated in the past.  I’ve had a lot of plans and ideas before.  None of which any of my previous significant others felt the same about.  I have that in Doug.  We have plans and ideas.  We share them with each other.  He just left here 3 days ago and he’s already asking when I’m coming down for a visit.  We spent hours last night just talking and trying to be as close as we can given the distance.  We both have slept like shit since he left.  We’re both having an interesting time dealing with the fact that we’re not waking up next to each other.

I feel like something significant is going to happen soon.