Toyed With

Okay, I really feel like I’m being toyed with now. I’m not fond of this feeling at all.

So, a little back story.
Back in October, my grandmother made Doug a crocheted blanket. I was finally able to give it to him when I was down in California a week ago.

I’m home now and last night, Doug and I were in voice chat and he makes this offhand comment, almost to himself:
“I love my blanket, it smells like Astra. Like vanilla.”


I didn’t know how to respond… so I only asked, “Like vanilla? Really?”

But it gets better…

Later, we’re in PlayStation voice chat with a third person. I was afk but I put my headset back on right when he is saying,
“…don’t have a girlfriend. That’s too much trouble. I have an Astra. Which is better than any relationship.”

Seriously. Wtf.

I’m feeling like I’m being toyed with now. After we had finished voice chat for the night, I laid in bed pondering these two things. Seems like he’s trying to keep me reeled in after realizing that he doesn’t have complete control over me. That I’m a substitute, placeholder, until someone that actually interests him comes along. He gets all the companionship from me without the stress of an actual relationship.

Fuck. I’m so tired of being toyed with. I don’t know what’s going on anymore.