Here I am, sitting in a coffee house in the Bay Area. He is only a few blocks away… I just dropped him off at work. The drive into his work this morning was pleasant. We laughed and talked and listened to music. It feels natural to be with him.
My heart breaks that he won’t see it too.
It has to be my looks and distance. We get along so freakishly well. We’re able to be ourselves with each other. There’s not that awkward “getting to know you” phase. We’re able to talk to each other and I haven found a single thing about him that I don’t like. He’s honest, vigilant, protective (even of me!), caring, charming, smart, funny… I could go on and on. He reminds me of Michael. Michael was the only person I ever dated that always told me that I was beautiful and to stop talking down about myself. He taught me confidence and how to see I was beautiful despite my flaws. Doug does that too. This morning, after I was finished putting myself together, Doug said to me, “You look amazing today.” I literally blushed.
Doug is trying to get me a job near him. I was recently laid off, so he’s been so encouraging and helpful. The first of my severance pay came in and he told me to stop paying for stuff. While I’m here, it’s his treat. He wants to take me out to a super fantastic, upscale restaurant tonight after work. I digress though. He wants to get me a job near him so that I can move closer to him and we can commute to work together.
How can he not have feels for me? We are everything a relationship is minus intimacy.
For the first and only time, I’m leaving this post open for comments. Maybe someone can give me some legitimate feedback…