Note: Now that the holidays are over, I can get back to updating.
Alen was back.
I relied on Bella so much to help me through this and not just give myself completely to Alen again. Initially, I was handling it like a pro. We only texted and talked on the phone. By this point, I had asked my husband for a divorce. Alen’s influence in my life led me to understand that if I was willing to have an affair, it was best to let my husband go. Nick didn’t appear phased when I asked him for a divorce. By now, he had come to know who Alen was. After a few days of chatting on the phone with Alen, Nick would get upset and tell me that it’s not fair that I get to sound so happy while we’re in the midst of getting a divorce. I explained to him that this was my way of dealing with this. By being distracted with friends.
My phone calls with Alen would span for a couple hours at a time. After a few weeks, he asked when he could see me again. I told him that I wasn’t going to see him again until my divorce was officially filed. He agreed that would be best. A month later, I tell Alen that it’s officially filed and we agreed to see each other soon. I could feel something was wrong… he was almost exactly the same way he was before except… something was different. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Bella and I speculated that he was just readjusting after our little fall out. We were picking up the pieces.
That wasn’t the case at all.
Little by little over the following weeks, Alen was becoming distant again. Just like he was doing before. I freely admit that I initially thought that it was Bella again. That he was STILL trying to have his cake and eat it too. I was so wrong though. About 2 weeks before our scheduled date, Alen tells me that he can’t do it anymore. That it’s too weird now. That I broke his heart and it just can’t be the same again. We’ll always be friends, he tells me but our relationship was on hold. He needed time to think.
I cried. A lot. At first. I called Bella and told her what had happened. She’s fuming and spatting out curses like there was no tomorrow. She was so up and down… comforting, angry, soothing, spitting mad, consoling… until she says the one thing that brought everything to a halt. “He said he wouldn’t do this! That fucking bastard! He said he loved you but that bitch has wiggled her way into his life!”